I Think I’m Too Old for the 50th State Fair

Musical Express at the 50th State Fair

Ah, the 50th State Fair.

I bet it’s one of your first picks when you have nothing to do on a Sunday night. My friends and I got kinda pumped up about going. We thought we’d ride a bit and then maybe stuff our faces with carnival food. We skipped getting the wrist bands thinking we wouldn’t need ‘em, turns out ride tickets are expensive as hell and if you plan on riding more than 4 rides, you should definitely get a band.

50th State Fair - the Zipper

I hate to sound like a grandpa, but I remember the days when it was 3 tickets to ride the Zipper. Now it’s 5 tickets, I’m too fat to fit in the rides comfortably, and I worry about motion sickeness when I get on. Of course, I didn’t figure any of that out until AFTER I got there.  We rode TWO rides while were there. We decided to start off slow with the Musical Express, which was fine and had me making retarded faces every time we went around. Afterwards, we started feeling ambitious and decided to stand in line for the Zipper.  BIG mistake.

The three of us squished into one cage, I was smashed in so tight that my feet didn’t touch the ground (yes, I know I’m short), and all I did was yell, “OH FUCK! MY GLASSES” over and over again. After the ride, two out of four of us were sick and we spent the remainder of our time there sitting down, complaining about the high number of Intermediate school kids there, and talking about our nausea. How embarrassing. I remember the days when we’d shake the cages of the Zipper and stand in line over and over again to ride it. Well, those days are long gone.  I realize now that I’m at this weird age to being going to the carnival. Definitely not young enough to be in high school and definitely not old enough to be taking my kid there.  The highlight of the night? Playing those rigged, overpriced games and then sharing some garlic corn on the cob with Kimi.

Don’t get me wrong, I had fun hanging out with my friends.

Oh, but did I mention that a dog had diarrhea right by the exit, the owner didn’t even clean it up, and one of us stepped in it? Yeah.

Ferris Wheel at the 50th State Fair

DATES
May 21-22-23-24-25
May 29-30-31
June 5-6-7
June 11-12-13-14
June 19-20-21

TIMES

May 21 & June 11 6 p.m. – Closing
Monday, May 25 Noon – Closing
Fridays 6 p.m. – Closing
Saturdays & Sundays: Noon – Closing

GENERAL ADMISSION

Noon to 6 p.m. $3
6 p.m. to Closing $5
Under 40″ tall Free

WRISTBAND SALES
Wristbands may be purchased at any Ticketmaster outlet, including Macy’s, or at the Aloha Stadium Box Office, or online by clicking on the wristband box to the left of this page.

Standard Wristband

$20 plus Ticketmaster fees Before 8 p.m. on May 20
$23 plus Ticketmaster fees May 21 to June 21

This wristband is good for unlimited rides during one of the following time periods only:

Saturdays Noon to 6 p.m.
Sundays (except May 24) Noon to 6 p.m. or 6 p.m. to Closing
Sunday, May 24 Noon to 6 p.m.
Memorial Day, May 25 Noon to 6 p.m. or 6 p.m. to Closing
Thursday, June 11 6 p.m. to Closing

Friday Night Wristband
$33 plus Ticketmaster fees
This wristband is good for unlimited rides any Friday night EXCEPT June 5.

A wristband also provides admission to the 50th State Fair for the person wearing the wristband.

Wristbands will not be sold on the fairgrounds (except through the Pepsi Day promotion) and are not available for Preview Night on May 21, any Saturday night, or after 6 p.m. on Sunday, May 24.

The Aloha Stadium Box Office will be open daily from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. through June 21.

Ticketmaster locations at Macy’s are open during the following hours only.
Monday – Friday: 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.
Saturday: 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.
Sunday: 10 a.m. – 5 p.m.